Old song, future poem?

It’s July 24, 2017, and I still haven’t written any new poems since the poor one I dashed out on 1/13/17, listed on my Poems page.  I also haven’t yet figured out how to either:  1) Publish a new post simultaneously to a particular page (for instance, Poems) as well as my Home page; or 2) Remove a post from my Home page after publication and move it to a different page.

I’m posting this old poem (first written as a song during that delirious summer, circa August 2011, when I joined two friends, Tommy on acoustic and Corey on electric guitar, and briefly deluded myself into believing I could front a band) not to showcase my profound poetic skills (they’re more profane than profound) but to see what happens when I publish this post.  Will it appear on my Home page and my Poems page, or will it only appear on my Home page?  If only on Home, how do I get it to post on Poems?

Anyway, the poem, which begs for revision, follows.  I welcome any comments on the poem, its quality, and especially suggestions for how I can make my blog posts do what I want them to do.  Thank you all for taking the time to read and offer feedback.  As always, take care, be well, and happy blogging!

Anna Lepsis

So this is the place

at which I’ve arrived

somewhere I hope

just a little bit shy

of the midway point

on the path of my life.

 

I never believed in regrets

‘til they started to come.

All I swore that I’d never do

I’ve damn sure now done.

And tears of blood fall

from my eyes ohh, one by one.

 

So long since you were

my girl and I was your man.

I looked in my dark glass my dear,

and you weren’t in my plans.

I lit out alone and now

that’s where I still stand.

 

My only relief comes

in my time machine.

The tires of my ’88 Mustang

and old metal bands scream,

while the ghosts of my past

rise and dance just like steam.

 

Now I’m here as you

check your mail all alone.

Just a short walk down the drive

of your broken home.

My fears unrealized

when my gaze doesn’t

turn you to stone.

 

Love sit yourself down

in my time machine.

I’ll carry you back

to our younger days’ dreams.

And our lives will just stop

rippin’ apart at the seams.

And where we’ll arrive

won’t be as bad as it’s been.

9 thoughts on “Old song, future poem?

  1. Hello! I think you have a nice cadence with your words here. I especially like:
    I never believed in regrets/‘til they started to come./All I swore that I’d never do/I’ve damn sure now done.

    I believe the theme here is a love lost and the sense of regret, with the hope of returning to kinder days. I’m not a fan of “girl” and “man” together. It’s a bit cliche.

    My sense is pulling in more of the emotion from regret itself, rather than focusing on the lost romance might tighten and freshen it.

    But, I’m a blogger and novelist, not a poet. So you’re getting my opinion rather than a literary critique. I applaud you for seeking feedback, though! You never know what little something-or-other will offer you the key to something transcendent.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Denny,

    Sorry for the delay in posting comments to your blogs. Life goes on. I will try to be more diligent with the rest of your postings.

    Anyway, I like the structure to your poem, but I am not crazy about the content. I just cannot seem to relate.

    Happy blogging

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Steven, you never need apologize to me unless you catch yourself being dishonest, in which case any apologies owed are only to yourself!

      Don’t be diligent on my account. Few know better than I how busy life can be!

      I am glad to hear from you, though!

      Denny

      Like

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